Organize to Simplify

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National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

Professional Resource Member

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

What’s your story?

I just finished Brene’ Brown’s Rising Strong. In the book, she encourages her readers to think about “the story I’m making up” and explore other perspectives. What does she mean by that?

Read the story about the total disconnect she had with her husband while taking a swim on a long-awaited family summer vacation. I assure you, you will have an “ah-ha” moment before the story is through.

Acknowledging “the story I’m making up” can be a real communication life-saver. How has “the story” manifested for me? Here are a few examples:

Scenario #1: A friend and I took a road trip together. We’ve known each other for a long time and have a very sarcastic repertoire. Basically, we flip each other sh&! all the time. The day after our road trip I saw a meme on Facebook that said “The definition of bestie: someone who opens their mouth just to insult you.” The story I made up was, “How funny is this? This is the perfect description of our super-fun road trip yesterday. My friend will think this is so funny. I have to send it to her right now!” Well, the story my friend made up when she saw the iMessage two weeks later was “Cindy must hate me and think I am a horrible friend.” It took her a full week to get the nerve up to send me an e-mail letting me know that she would try to be a better friend. Same message, two completely different stories. Had my friend called me and said: “the story I’m making up is that you think I’m a mean friend” could have been easily explained away.

Scenario #2: A couple of years ago a client poured her heart out to me in a text message. She displayed a lot of vulnerability and raw emotion. The text never came through to my phone. However, at about the same time I was in Costco and texted my client asking if she wanted me to pick up some of her favorite pencils. Unfortunately, my response to her vulnerable text was “I’m in Costco, want me to grab some pencils?” She never replied to my text. The story she made up was “Cindy is ignoring my painful text because I crossed the line of professional boundaries. I wonder how this is going to change our relationship.” My story was “Well, I guess she doesn’t need any pencils.” Same texting miscommunication, two completely different stories. Had my client called and asked about my strange response to her text, she would have saved herself a week of concern about our potentially-damaged relationship.

Scenario #3: I managed the Northwest Harvest food drive for my department when I worked at Macy’s. I was passionate about giving back to the community and loved this part of my job. One year it looked like we were going to fall a little short of our goal. I was discussing the situation with one of the senior managers and he said: “just put me down for whatever we are short.” I felt he had already given plenty so my response was “You’ve already given so much, why don’t you let someone else pick up the slack?” To that, he curtly responded “Don’t tell me what to do with my money. If I want to give more, I will give more.” Because I very much respected this person, I was crushed. My story was “I failed to rally the troops enough and this very generous person is having to pick up the pieces as a result of my failure.” His story was “We’re close, I’m okay giving a little more. Why is she questioning how much I want to give?” If I’d had my wits about me I could have simply said “Wow. I didn’t expect that strong of a response. Where is that coming from?”

Can you see similarities to your experiences in these stories? What’s your story? What’s their story? What story can you create together with thoughtful and vulnerable conversations?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here to schedule a free coaching consultation.

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

Professional Resource Member

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

Labels: Helpful or Harmful?

I recently read a great book called “The Organizing Sourcebook” by Kathy Waddill. As an organizer, the entire book fascinated me, but Chapter #5 drilled home the point on how labeling can give us direction, but it can also hold us back.

Even before reading the book I was a big fan of labeling things. My P-touch labeler is always close at hand and there are lots and lots of labeled containers in my home and office. Labeling keeps things clear. Labeling provides order. Labeling creates a vision based on experiences.

But I never thought about the drawbacks of labeling until I processed the information in Kathy Waddill’s book. How is assigning a label to something standing in our way, not only in the organizing process but life in general?

Paraphrased below are a couple of her examples:

Do you prefer to use the normally-unused dining room as your home office, but are handicapped because you can’t bring yourself to put a filing cabinet in it? Well, change the label on that room to home office, position a visually-appealing file cabinet and move on. You will still be able to use it during infrequent dinner parties, but you will use it every day as your convenient home office.

As an empty-nester, are you struggling to reclassify your children’s room into areas you would truly use, like craft room or home gym? If so, change the label and start enjoying the rooms in support of your current lifestyle. Invest in a comfortable sofa or wall bed for the occasional overnight visitor and start using the room in the way that supports your lifestyle today.

These examples got me thinking about how using labels can be detrimental to a happy and healthy life. For example:

Because we have a “favorite restaurant,” does that hold us back from trying new cuisines?

Does our “favorite exercise class” keep us from trying the new Nia fitness trend?

If you think you have a “nosey neighbor,” would you view them differently if they were your Neighborhood Watch captain?

If you could change your mindset around an “anxious” emotion to embracing “eager” instead, in what way would that change how you feel?

Labeling. Whether it’s helpful or harmful is entirely up to us.

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here to schedule a free coaching consultation.

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

Professional Resource Member

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

Me Time

“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” — Eleanor Brownn

My husband and I just returned from a week’s vacation. Not only was it lovely to go from 40-degree weather in the Seattle area to 80-degree weather in a tropical climate, it was nice to leave behind the worries of work, pet care, and our leaky garage roof. All things I couldn’t manage from hundreds of miles away.

Settling into the new routine, or more appropriately no routine, allowed me some much-needed me time.

I spent my me time focusing on my life balance. Spending time just hangin’ with my husband was magical. We played a couple rounds of golf. We took a walk together. I read two books. I went to the gym. I meditated outside (easier to do in 80 degrees than 40 degrees). And, we spent a lot of time just lounging by the pool, basically doing nothing.

I asked a few of my friends what me time looked like to them and here is what I heard:

Getting up a few minutes before the rest of the household and just enjoying the quiet.
Reading.
Taking a walk by themselves.
Meditation (this is a big one for me too).
Exercising
Trying out a new restaurant with friends.
Getting a manicure/pedicure.
Joining a book club.
Turning off the electronic devices.
Calling a friend.

Why worry about me time? WebMD has some thoughts on this. Although this article is biased toward women, I think men have the same challenges.

“There’s a tremendous amount of stress and pressure put on women: being parents, being daughters, mothers, wives, professionals. All of these roles combined leave many of us not taking adequate care of ourselves — which is what sustains us and gives us the energy to take care of all these other responsibilities that we have,” says Randy Kamen Gredinger, a Wayland, MA, psychologist and life coach specializing in women’s issues.”

Whatever your thoughts about me time are, experts agree it is important to schedule it. I know with my clients, if it’s not on the schedule, it just doesn’t happen, even with the best of intentions.

So, here’s my challenge to you:

Look at your calendar and set aside at least ten minutes of me time every day.

How will you spend your me time?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here to schedule a free coaching consultation.

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

Professional Resource Member