“I really thought you’d be more upset.”

A week or so ago my husband and I went to a BBQ/pool party.  I really didn’t have any intention to swim, so I didn’t wear a swimming suit, just normal backyard BBQ attire.  As it turned out, having a suit on would have been handy when I dropped my iPhone in the pool!

As you might imagine, it took me a minute to figure out what my next step was.  Long story short, it took about five minutes for someone to fish my phone out of the pool.  I was super-excited when the phone appeared to still be working . . . . and super-disappointed two minutes later when it stopped working.  Immediately the phone went into a bag of rice and fingers were crossed that it would all be fine the next day.  Well, the phone wasn’t fine, but surprisingly, I wasn’t very upset.

As we were driving home, my husband looked at me quizzically and said “I really thought you’d be more upset.”  Then I got to thinking . . . . I’m surprised I’m not more upset too.  Then it hit me.

Remember my  last post when I talked a little bit about meditation and how it changes the brain?  Below is a quick synopsis of a 2016 study on mindfulness and emotional regulation:

Simply put, the authors argued that individuals who are naturally mindful can effectively regulate their emotions even without meditation, but for those who are not naturally mindful, simply forcing oneself to be mindful “in the moment” is not enough — it is necessary to engage in mindfulness meditation in order to effectively regulate your emotions.

I’m generally a pretty emotional person.  A couple of years ago I would have been so upset about the phone issue, I would have started berating myself with negative self-talk about my irresponsibility . . . right after I stopped crying about it.  But my regular practice of mindful meditation kept those emotions in check.

Here’s how I see meditation making a positive impact on my life:

In the moment:  I have a quick meditation if I need to destress in the moment.  Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths I repeat “Stillness of mind, awareness of body.”  This will reduce my heart rate and give me a moment of pause.

Daily:  I meditate about 10 minutes almost every day.  It sets my intention and starts my day in a calm place.

Cumulative:  My blood pressure is low and my emotions are much more regulated.  This serves me well in almost every situation.

So what did I learn?

  • Mindful meditation works.
  • Be more careful with my phone.
  • If the phone goes swimming again, put it in a small plastic bag BEFORE you put it in rice. (The nice folks at the Apple store had to dig three pieces of rice out of the power port.)  🙂

What positive impact could mindfulness have on your life?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

Start your day right!

This video resurfaced on my Facebook feed this week.  The topic of the video is 10 life lessons from basic SEAL training, delivered by Admiral William H. McRaven.  What I loved about this video is life lesson #1 . . . . start your day off by making your bed.

Will making your bed really set your entire day off on the right foot? Why will making your bed set your day off on the right foot?  It’s a success.  It’s a completion.  It’s motivating.  It feels good to start the day with things in order.

When I’m working with my organizing and coaching clients, I encourage them to start the day with something that will make them feel good, accomplished, and motivated to take on the world . . .  or possibly just cleaning the house.

What else do I encourage to help my clients start their day off with energy?

  1. Start the night before.   Planning the next day the night before can be very helpful in getting the morning started right.  Look at your calendar and see what’s ahead of you.  Put out the clothes you plan to wear.   Make a list of the three most important items on your “to do” list.  If possible, pack lunches.  Whatever you can do the night before will help keep your busy morning on track.
  2. Take some time to meditate.  Before I started meditating, I had this vision of sitting on the floor, cross-legged, in total silence, with incense burning in the background.  Well, that just sounded like too much work for me.  So I started small, and have stayed there.  I meditate four to five times a week for 10 minutes.  I’m not a neuroscientist so I can’t explain how it works, but meditating physically changes the brain.
  3. Get dressed and put on your shoes.  Yup, just the simple act of getting dressed and putting on your shoes tells your brain it’s ready to take on the day.  Personally, there’s a big difference in my ability to motivate myself if I’m in “go out in public” clothes vs “hangin’ out and having another cup of coffee” clothes.  How about you?
  4. Get a little exercise.  I know we all don’t have time to hit the gym for an hour first thing in the morning, but most of us have time for a brisk 15-20 minute walk.  (Well, those of you that have little ones at home probably don’t, but you get lots of exercise chasing after them, right?) If you can’t fit in 15-20 minutes, take 30 seconds to do some stretching.  Even that small amount of time is enough to wake your body up.
  5. Eat something.  Again, most of us choose not to get up early enough to have a sit-down breakfast.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t eat something healthy, even if we are on-the-go.  My morning staple is oatmeal cupcakes.  The recipe I use makes 24 cupcakes and only takes about 40 minutes (the recipe says 25, but I’m clearly not that fast).  I freeze them and 1:00 in the microwave later, I’m out the door!

What do you do to ensure your mornings start off on the right foot?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

 

 

Back To School Prep

We’ve had quite the beautiful summer here in the Puget Sound area, but the recent addition of back-to-school commercials reminds me that summer is coming to an end.

Side note:  I do not have any preferences about where to shop, but I have to say the Walmart Super Hero commercial makes me smile every time I see it.

Although I don’t have any children in the back-to-school range, some of my clients do.  I’ve experienced, through them, how getting everyone ready to head back into the classroom adds an extra layer of anxiety and stress to the last few lazy days of summer.    Here are some tips to get you started and make the transition a little smoother.

School Supplies:

    1. Get a copy of the school’s supply list.  I was able to find the school supply list for my local middle school on-line within just 30 seconds.  Doing a web search should result in a list similar to this (I searched “Lake Stevens School supply list”).  I also found a well-organized file of school supply lists at my local Staples, so check with your local retailers.
    2. Once you have the list, shop at home.  Chances are, you will have a good number of the supplies already on hand.  There’s no need to purchase a full set of supplies every year.
    3. If you have supplies you aren’t using (or don’t foresee using in the near future), donate them to a school or to a local Boys and Girls Club.  I’m certain they will be put to better use than taking up space in your home.
  1. Clothes:
    1. Check with your school to see if there are dress codes that need to be followed. If so, ensure that you and your student reads and understands them prior to embarking on the clothes shopping adventure.  I can’t imagine much more frustrating than finding out your son/daughter have clothes they love, but can’t wear to school.
    2. Depending on the age of your student, you will more than likely need to go shopping with them.   Note I said “with them.”  Although it may be simpler to just do the shopping on your own, having your child with you may be more efficient.  If you shop with your child, you will ensure the clothes fit properly, they feel good in them, and are something they like and will wear.  So many of my clients spend inordinate amounts of time shopping/returning/shopping/returning.  The added stress and time generally isn’t worth it.
  2. Classes:  Hopefully at this point, classes have been signed up for.  If not, get in touch with the school to set an appointment to register as soon as possible.
  3. Extra-curricular activities:  Have all extra-curricular activities been signed up for?  Has the appropriate equipment been arranged for?  If not, now’s the time to start working through that process.
  4. Transportation:  Most of my clients work at least part-time out of the home, so arranging transportation for any after-school activities is critical.
  5. Health requirements:  Does the school require specific health tests or immunizations?  Again, a quick on-line search led to this information for our local school district.
  6. Daily schedules:  Because our student’s days are generally less structured during the summer, some habits may have developed that need to be changed in order to be successful when school starts.  Now’s the time to start adjusting to getting up earlier, scheduling study time, and creating a new routine for getting to bed on time.

Changes in schedules tend to add a little stress to our lives, but some excellent pre-planning goes a long way to making the transition just a little easier!

Simplify your life!

This is “National Simplify Your Life” week.

Because it’s part of my business name (Organize to Simplify) I’m constantly thinking about what “simplify” means to me, my friends, my family, and my clients.

Here are some things that may need to be simplified in our lives:

  • Stuff?  Yes!
  • Schedules?  Yes!
  • Technology? Yes!
  • People?  Yes!  (yikes!)

Stuff:

Most of us have way more stuff than we need (and probably even want).  Look around the room you are sitting in and really take a hard look at everything that surrounds you.  Do you use them?  Do they bring you joy and happiness?  If not, what would it feel like to let them go?  How would it feel knowing that they were in the home of someone that actually needed and wanted them? Not only is it okay to let things go, de-cluttering makes us healthier:

According to the Chicago Tribune: “Getting rid of clutter can have unexpected health benefits. Letting go of material things gives a feeling of euphoria some liken to the runner’s high. It’s liberating and frees up time and space for healthy habits, such as exercising. It can even reduce allergy symptoms and help you lose weight.”

Schedules:

Raise your hand if you feel you have too much to do and not enough time (I can almost see all of your hands raised right now).  Do you need to do everything on your schedule?   Are there things you knew at the time you should have said “no, but thanks for asking” to?  Are you doing things that don’t make you happy and are not critical (book club you no longer enjoy, exercise class you are only attending because you already paid for it but don’t really like, networking meetings that don’t bring you joy or clients, etc.)  Much like our stuff, cluttered and over-crowded schedules can affect our health.  I encourage you to take a look at your schedule and see what you can eliminate.  What would you do with that extra time?  Exercise?  Sleep? Spend more time with family and friends?

Technology:

Am I actually suggesting you give up technology?  Absolutely not!!! What I am suggesting is taking a critical look at how much time you are devoting to it.  Personally, I don’t do Twitter, Instagram, or Tumblr,  but I spend way too much time on Facebook.  What are you learning from all these connections?  Is it really a “connection” or just a way to spend time?  What would happen if you disconnected from a social media platform or two?  What would happen if you reduced the amount of time you spent on them?  What would you do with that time?  Remember, doing nothing is a perfectly acceptable answer to that question.

People:

This one may sound harsh, but it’s worth thinking about.  I could never do without connections to people.  I love being around people; being with people fills me with joy.  But, are there connections I am spending time maintaining that no longer serve me (or the other person) the way they used to?  Think about it.  Is the time spent maintaining a relationship disproportionate to the joy the relationship brings you?

Some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go.”   Search Quotes

I’m pretty sure we are all aware of things that could be eliminated from our lives, but it’s so hard to take that first step.  So, I’m going to challenge you:

Over the next week:

  • Eliminate one item of clutter.
  • Cancel one unnecessary appointment.
  • Reduce time spent on technology by one hour.
  • Take a critical look at one relationship.

Simplify your life . . . one small step at a time.

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

Are you ready for a trip to the hospital?

Unfortunately, my husband and I had to make an unexpected trip to the hospital recently.  As to be expected when leaving the house under those circumstances, we were not thinking clearly.   Because we assumed we were coming back home within a few hours, we were woefully unprepared for an overnight stay.  Fortunately for us, we have an amazing support structure that stepped in to help, which further clarified how important home organization is, especially when we were not at home.

The launching pad:  Fortunately, my husband and I always put our wallet/handbag and keys in the same place every day.  I refer to this as our daily launching pad area.  Everything you need to take with you when you leave the house should be in this area.  Knowing where his launching pad was kept me from having to run around the house trying to find his wallet to ensure I had his driver’s license and insurance information.

Clothing:  Once it became apparent we were staying for a while, our friends offered to grab some clothes and bring them to the hospital.  Although we didn’t need to have them bring any clothing, having an organized wardrobe system would have allowed me to tell them exactly where everything was that we needed . . . socks in the upper right drawer, t-shirts in the middle right drawer, jeans hanging on the left side of the closet third hanger in, etc.

Personal items:  Again, because we have a system, I would have been able to let our friends know exactly where to find the travel toothbrush/toothpaste kit; my contact care kit; makeup remover pads; etc.  All things we would have needed if our stay had been extended past 24 hours.

Accessories: One of the most important things we can do in these situations is to stay in contact with our loved ones.  I didn’t have the foresight to bring a phone/iPad charger with me when I left the house, so having them bring chargers was a necessary.  It was nice to be able to say “The chargers are in the kitchen, center plug.  Please bring the 4-plug charger, two small Apple chargers, and the one large Apple charger.”  Because things were actually where they were supposed to be, it was much easier for our friends to help us out.

I hope to not have to do this again, but I feel better knowing the effort we put into organizing our home made it much easier for people to help us.

How would your current state of home organization work in a crisis?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

How’s your cell phone courtesy?

Smartphones have become a necessity in our lives these days.  No matter where we look, people are texting, emailing, calling, dictating, taking photos, etc.  So much so, that we sometimes lose connection with the people sitting right next to us.

Since July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month, I thought it was the perfect time to give some thought to:

  • Who uses mobile devices?
  • How do we use our mobile devices?
  • How can we be more courteous when we do use our mobile devices?

From a 2016 Pew Research study:

% of U.S. adults who own cell phones:

Any cellphone Smartphone Cellphone, but not smartphone
Total 95% 77% 18%
Men 96% 78% 18%
Women 94% 75% 19%

How do we use our smartphones?

From a 2016 Statistic Brain survey of mobile device users:

Percent who said their mobile phone is the first and last thing they look at each day 29 %
Percent who said they need to have the latest mobile technology 18 %
Percent who check their mobile device every 30 minutes or less 37 %
Percent who said they could only go a few hours without their mobile phone 34 %
Percent who said they prefer to communicate by text message 32 %
Percent who have asked someone on a date via text 20 %
Percent who say their mobile device make them better parents 65 %
Percent who would take their mobile device to work over their lunch 66 %

Anyone else shocked by these number?  I sure was.

Which leads me to, how can we be more courteous when using our mobile devices?

Put your device away.

I don’t know of anyone that appreciates having a meeting or meal with someone who chooses to leave their mobile device on the table.  It sends a pretty clear message that the phone is as, or more, important than the person sitting right in front of us.

And remember, unless you are an emergency service provider, it’s probably okay to let a call go to voicemail or look at a text when you are not engaged with another person.  (Caveat:  I will sometimes keep my phone out if the person I’m meeting is late and may need to get in touch for directions; I may pull my phone out if someone has specifically asked to have something looked up, or a photo or contact shared; etc.)

Keep it quiet and calm.

Whenever possible, keep your phone on vibrate mode.  If you need to take an emergency call, politely excuse yourself and take the call in a private area.  Also, remember your voice and gestures travel.  Even if you think you are out of sight or earshot, you probably aren’t.

Follow the law and “house” rules:

Many localities have very stringent and specific laws pertaining to using smart phones while operating a motor vehicle, even when stopped at a light or stop sign (Washington is enforcing much more strict laws starting on July 23rd).  If you absolutely need to check your phone, find a safe place to pull over.

Some places (hospitals, airplanes, courtrooms, libraries, movie theatres, etc.) request no cell phone use as not to disturb others.  Follow the rules for wherever you are, they are there for a reason.

Don’t use you cellphones as a social blocker:

I get it, sometimes we just don’t know what to do with ourselves.  We’ve all been in new or awkward situations where we don’t’ want to feel “alone.”  Picking up our cellphone allows us to “connect,” but not with the people we are surrounded by.  Looking at our phones sends a clear message of “don’t bother me, I’m busy.” Put your phone down, take a deep breath and engage face-to-face with those around you.

Watch where you are going.

Twice yesterday I had people nearly walk into me in the grocery store.  I came to a complete stop in order to avoid someone who was distracted by their phone from running into me. Imagine if those same people were on a busy sidewalk or crossing a busy street. “Don’t text and walk” is becoming as important as “Don’t drink and drive.”

Cell phones are part of our lives . . . let’s all use them responsibly.  🙂

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

Every Day Is A New Start

I like to think of myself as a decent golfer.  Not a great golfer, but a decent golfer.  Because I spend a fair amount of time doing it, I frequently use golfing as a metaphor for a lot of life’s little challenges that get thrown my way.

For example:

Skills vs expectationsA golf “index” gives a benchmark of your skill set which helps manage expectations when you are out on the course.  How honest are we about our skill level and how fairly do we manage our expectations based on those skills?

Practice makes you . . . . better, not perfect:  If you watch any professional golf, you will see that even professionals, who practice for hours and hours every day, sometimes hit horrible shots.  It is unreasonable to have an expectation that we will do everything perfectly every time.

Honesty is paramount: Golf is referred to as “the gentleman’s game.”  One of the biggest tenants of the game is that golfers call penalties on themselves should an infraction occur.  This is just as important in life as it is on the golf course.  If you do something wrong, admit it, correct it, and move on.

Don’t give up.  What I find funny about golf (and frankly very frustrating) is that I can golf really well one day, and horribly the next . . . at the very same course under the very same conditions.  Why is that?  I didn’t forget how to golf; the course didn’t change; I didn’t change my equipment.  Just one day I could do it, the next day I couldn’t.  But, for whatever crazy reason, I will try it all over again the very next day.  I won’t give up.

Which leads me to my point on handling life’s little challenges:

  • Manage your expectations.
  • Practice, but be reasonable.
  • Be honest.
  • Don’t give up.

And remember, every day is a new start.

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

Family Communication

(June is Effective Communication Month.  I love studying the impacts of how we communicate, so you will see multiple posts this month about effective communication, communication styles, etc. )

Communication (from Latin commūnicāre, meaning “to share”[1]) is the act of conveying intended meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs and semiotic rules. Wikipedia

The word that sticks out the most in this definition to me is “intended.”   Sometimes the most difficult conversations I have is within my own family:  siblings, husband, kids, nieces/nephews.

Why is that?  Just to name a few of the disconnects I’ve encountered:

  • Families sometimes develop communication “shorthand” that sometimes fails.
  • Because we may be so close to our family, we think the other person automatically understands our perspective.
  • Different generations have different communication styles and expectations.
  • Unfortunately, we may not be as diplomatic with our family as we are with others.

Shorthand:

You know how sometimes you can just look at someone and you absolutely “get” where they are coming from?  How frequently do you finish the sentence when talking to someone you are deeply familiar with?  How many times have you only had to use a few words to convey a message to someone you are around a lot? Shorthand can sometimes be beneficial or a huge stumbling block if it’s misinterpreted.  Funny story: one of the first disconnects my husband and I had was about cherry pie vs apple pie. So, whenever we encounter a frustrating communication situation we will often ask “is this a cherry pie moment?”  Each of us knows exactly what the phrase means.

Perspective:

Just because we had similar life experiences and perspectives as kids, doesn’t mean we will share the same perspective as adults.  I moved away from the area where I grew up.  Because of that, I’ve experienced things as an adult that my siblings haven’t; my siblings have had experiences that I haven’t.  That’s what happens.   That’s life.  Those dis-similar life experiences change our perspectives.

Styles and Expectations:

I’m a baby-boomer.  I am a verbal processor.  I love to talk.  I like to text.  I over-communicate via e-mail.  I write letters.  I return EVERYONE’s phone calls.  If someone sends me a text, I try to get right back to them.  If someone leaves me a voicemail, I call them right back.  I send “thank you” notes.  Fortunately, my husband and I have similar communication styles.  Some of my other family members, not so much.  It’s not because they don’t love me (I assume they do), it’s that we communicate differently.  I’ve many times left a voicemail saying something like “I need to talk to you about Grandma, please give me a call back” and received a text a couple days later saying “I saw you called.  What do you need?”  Well, for one, for you to call me like my voicemail asked.  (Snarky, I know!)  We have different styles and different expectations which may cause underlying frustration.

Diplomacy

Why is it that we are sometimes the least diplomatic with the ones we care the most about?  I’ve seen people who deeply love each other be sharp-toned, rude, unkind, sarcastic, etc.  When asked about it, they will say “oh, they know I love them and I’m not serious.”  Well, do they?  Are you acting as if you do?

Our families are precious to us.  Let’s make sure we are communicating with them in such a way that they know that.

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

 

What are you saying that you aren’t “saying?”

(June is Effective Communication Month.  I love studying the impacts of how we communicate, so you will see multiple posts this month about effective communication, communication styles, etc. )

“Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy will come through to your audience before you even start speaking.”                                         Peter Guber

A 1991 University of California study indicated that only 7% of any communication is the choice of words; 93% is conveyed through body language and tone of voice.*  What would it mean to  actually know what people meant to communicate, not just what they said?

A myriad of emotions, including fear, joy, regret, and confusion, are all emotions that come to mind that we may not speak about, but are difficult to hide.

Two large categories of non-verbal communication are posture and facial expressions.

Posture:

Posture is a powerful non-verbal communication tool. What is our posture saying?

Open Posture: May portray friendliness and positivity.  Sit or stand up straight.  Head raised. Relaxed facial expression.  Good eye contact.

Closed Posture: May portray boredom, hostility, or detachment. Arms crossed.  Hunched forward position.  Clenched fists.

I recently discovered an effective posture correcting device called Lumo Lift. The subtle reminder of possible poor posture that Lumo Lift provides has helped me focus on maintaining an open presentation for both my organizing and coaching clients.   I’m not endorsing this product, more bringing to light that there are devices that may assist in our portraying more open and receptive presentation.   For more information on posture visit livestrong.com.

Facial expressions:

A few years ago I had a client ask “Are you upset with me?” during an organizing session.  When I asked the basis for her question, she indicated that I was frowning and she was concerned she’d done something wrong.  Wow! I never experience frustration with my clients, yet my facial expressions were communicating that very emotion to them.  Not only was I thankful she felt she could be open and honest with me, it gave me pause to realize that I was out of tune with, and possibly not able to control, what my body was saying to my clients.

Frowning can indicate negativity, judgement, or possibly just concentration.  Concentration is understandable in organizing or coaching environments; however, negativity and judgement are not emotions I want to portray to my clients.  In order to be more in tune with my facial expressions, I’ve done a couple of things:

  1. Actively focused on thinking positive thoughts during in-person meetings with my clients. For me, positive thoughts result in positive body language.
  2. Mirrors: For phone coaching clients, I employ mirrors to ensure that I’m not frowning. This helps me keep a positive outlook around the call.
  3. Botox (or equivalent): I’ve utilized this for a couple of years.  Although this path isn’t right for everyone (this is a medical procedure, speak to your health care provider), it has resulted in less “what’s wrong” challenges from my clientele.

For more information on facial expressions, visit verywell.com.

Like most skills, understanding and controlling non-verbal communication improves with practice.  How important is it to you to understand what you are communicating and what others are communicating to you?

 

*Source:  Listening to Bodies, A Somatic Primer, Suzanne Zeman

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

Member Color - Web
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

The Cost of Poor Communication

(June is Effective Communication Month.  I love studying the impacts of how we communicate, so you will see multiple posts this month about effective communication, communication styles, etc. )

Communication is a tricky thing.  Sometimes even when we think we are perfectly clear in our communication, something gets lost along the way.

Why worry about communication?

  • Good communication generally results in good relationships.
  • Bad communication generally creates stressful relationships.

Good communication is crucial to any successful business, but it’s even more crucial in a small business where owners and employees wear many different hats.  Good communication can help you retain great employees and customers; poor communication can cost you both.

I see the cost of poor communication on a pretty regular basis, costing businesses employees and customers.  What does poor communication look like?

  1. Incomplete or inaccurate work expectations: It’s my contention that most employees come to work wanting to do a great job.  Unfortunately, there have been many times in my experience that incomplete explanation of work expectations has resulted in employees either quitting or getting fired.  In general, supervisors have a pretty clear idea of employee expectations, unfortunately they may not communicate fully and clearly to the employee, resulting in a negative work relationship between. Suffer too many of these negative instances and talented employees will quit or get fired, resulting in expensive recruiting, hiring, and training.  Clearly-defined employee expectations will save a company thousands of dollars in the long run.
  2. Incomplete documentation of job responsibilities: When employees wear many hats, the line of responsibility sometimes gets blurred about who is supposed to do what within the organization.  Without clear definition of each employee’s responsibility and timeline for completing tasks, there is a grey area about who is doing what, when.   I worked with a small business where no one was assigned to monitor some pretty important daily tasks, which resulted in  financial challenges, lost customers, and a facility that left a less-than-desirable impression on customers.
    • Financial transactions: To maintain a good credit score (which will result in more favorable banking rates) financial paperwork must be handled in a timely fashion.  Successful businesses see value in  invoicing customers frequently; paying creditors within agreed-upon terms; making bank deposits daily in order to take advantage of any available interest on the account; etc.  Not making smart financial decisions can cost your company hard-earned profits and credibility.
    • Responses to customer inquiries: Without clearly-defined responsibilities about who and how often voicemail and e-mail communication is addressed may result in potential customers being ignored.  With customers’ increasing use of technology, it is more important than ever that these responsibilities and expectations be clearly defined.
    • Maintenance: Although it may seem that routine maintenance items don’t need to be assigned, it is critically important that they are.  Making sure supplies are purchased, rest rooms are clean, light bulbs are replaced, etc. is a clear reflection on how well your business functions and how customers view the professional level of the company.
  3. Incomplete or inaccurate paperwork: Determining the cost of inaccurate paperwork is relatively simple when you know the cost of employee time and raw materials. Here are just a couple:
    • Unnecessary time spent when a client’s physical address is inaccurate for a field representative will result in wasted time for the employee and frustration on the part of the client who will be waiting extra time for a service call. We’ve all heard stories about “waiting all afternoon for the cable guy” which generally results in bad-mouthing the business and loss of future sales.  As business owners, we can’t afford the bad press.
    • Poor handwriting has resulted in more time and materials waste that almost anything. Examples can be as simple as incorrect phone numbers and addresses; the difference between ¼” and ½” when we are cutting a client’s materials to certain specifications;  or the difference between a client wanting their work done on the 1st or 7th day of the month.  Any time written documentation isn’t 100% clear it’s costly to our business.

Clear communication about work expectations,  documentation of responsibilities, and accurate paperwork will save your business time, money, frustration and customers.  What impression does your communication give about you and your company?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

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