Monthly Archives: September 2017

Pause. Patience. Perspective.

Parts of the yesterday really tried my patience.

I had a wonderful opportunity to visit a friend in her new home and play a round of golf in beautiful 84-degree weather.  The day was magical . . . until I started what should have been a 2-1/2 hour trek home.

Then I encountered . . . .

Accidents:  Four of them to be exact.  It was during commute time.  There were no “alternate routes” available.  These four accidents would ultimately result in an additional 2 hours of travel time.  I was frustrated.  Then I was thankful.  I was in a comfortable, safe car.  I had no critical timeline in which I needed to be somewhere.  I was not involved in any of the accidents.  Pause. Patience. Perspective.

A slow driver:  Honestly!  They were driving 10 MPH under the speed limit. What’s up with that?  I was tempted to do the ol’ flash the lights routine because I assumed it was some young whipper-snapper texting and not paying attention.  Nope, it was an elderly couple looking at a map and trying to find their way.  I would have felt horrible had I made their trek even more stressful by my impatience.  Pause. Patience. Perspective.

A broken Frappuccino machine:  I jumped off the freeway long enough to complete a coaching call with a very motivated client that I‘ve been working with for some time.  After the call, I decided to treat myself to a frappuccino for the next 90-minute drive home.  The sign said the frappuccino was 490 calories.  That’s a lot of calories for a drink in my mind, but I decided to treat myself.  Five minutes later the manager told me the machine was broken and he needed to refund my $5.62.  I could have been upset, but honestly, I was relieved.  I really didn’t feel good about it anyway.  Pause. Patience. Perspective.

So, what did all of this teach me?  The power of pausing, taking a second to engage with some patience, and thinking about a possible different perspective.

How would you benefit from practicing pause, patience, and perspective?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

Bounce Back!

I recently had a major disappointment.  I’d been working on a project for nearly three years.  Having spent lots of time, energy, and money on this endeavor, I was ready to reap the fruits of my labors.  The final assignment was to pass a very rigorous test.  I did not pass.

I was devastated.  I’m used to succeeding.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

I was mad.

I cried.

I swore (sorry Mom).

I screamed about my perceived injustice.

I crumbled.

Then I sat back and asked myself “what’s next?”  How was I going to bounce back?

As a coach, I encounter this type of situation with my clients on a frequent basis.  I worked with my personal coach (yes, even coaches use coaches) to help process the situation and determine my next steps.

Embrace the emotion:  I’m a very emotional person.  I feel deeply.  This rocked me to the core and I knew I needed to acknowledge the disappointment.  So, I let myself have 24 hours to process all the negative emotions, then I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started figuring out what my next step was.  Years ago I remember my coaching mentor saying “there is motivation in emotion.”  Yes, yes, there is!

Own it:  I had a very clarifying conversation with my mentor.  She gave me some incredible insight into where I’d gone wrong; how I could learn from this disappointment; and what I could do differently to prepare for my next opportunity.  How often do we look at our ownership in things that don’t go the way we want them to?

Put it in perspective:  At first, I wanted to completely throw in the towel, but deep-down I knew that would only be a further disappointment.  I literally said to myself “why even try again?”  Honestly!  Even though I’d spent nearly three years working on this project, it is not a one-and-done opportunity.  It’s a process.  It’s a learning and character-building opportunity.  In the scheme of things, this is a little bump in the road.

Learn from others and work harder:  When I really thought about it, I realized I’d not put the effort into the test that I should have.  I’m generally pretty successful at things and hadn’t really acknowledged the effort being successful in this endeavor was going to take.  Fortunately, I have several colleagues that have been through this process.  I asked each and every one of them what they did to be successful and have incorporated their processes into my new learnings.  In a nutshell, I’ve learned both from my mistakes and the successes of others.  And, frankly, I’m just plain working harder this time around.

The silver lining in this process is that I’ve become a stronger, smarter, and more resilient person than I was before this experience.

What can you learn from the disappointments, large or small, that you encounter?  How do you bounce back?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

What does “self improvement” mean to you?

September is “National Self Improvement” month.   Although most of us are constantly striving to improve ourselves, sometimes we just need a gentle nudge or reminder to help move us forward to living the life we want to live.

Here are some areas my clients frequently mention when they are focusing on self-improvement and self-care:

Get some sleep: We all feel better after a good nights’ sleep, right?  Well, what else does it do for us other than make us feel good?

  • Saves calories: Well-rested people eat an average of close to 300 calories per day.
  • Makes your brain more efficient at recall: When we sleep, our brain sorts through all the information it took in for the day, making it easier to recall the important stuff.
  • Heals you from the inside out: While sleeping, our brain triggers the release of hormones that encourage tissue growth.

Forgive someone, possibly yourself:  I find forgiveness to be a learned skill that I’m constantly working on.  I know that harboring resentment does more damage to my personal well-being than the actual indiscretion.  According to Dr. Judith Orloff  “Forgiveness does more for you than anyone else because it liberates you from negativity and lets you move forward.”  Whom do you need to forgive to move forward?

Create silence for 10 minutes a day:  Think about it: how many waking minutes do you spend in silence each day?  We get up and turn on the TV or radio while we get ready. We get in the car and turn on the radio.  During the day we are on the phone, listening to piped-in music, having meetings, etc.  Then, we get back in our cars and listen to the radio, and come home and turn on the TV.  Very little of our day is in silence.  In 2011 the World Health Organization published a report concluding that “there is overwhelming evidence that exposure to environmental noise has adverse effects on the health of the population.”  Silence helps our brains relax.

Get physical:  Make an effort to move a little every day.  Even just a little bit pays off.  I’ve written a previous blog about this and I know it’s more difficult for some to schedule than others (I’m in awe of all you working moms and dads!), but the benefits of even a few minutes every day pays off both physically and emotionally.

Get social: Social connections and overall happiness go hand-in-hand.  Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, two pioneers of positive psychology, conducted a study in 2002 at the University of Illinois.  The results showed that the most common characteristic of students who were very happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.”

What would you like to work on during “National Self Improvement Month?”

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies

The Power of Predictability

Seasons change.

Winter turns to Spring.

Spring turns to Summer.

Summer turns to Fall.

Fall turns to Winter.

We know it’s happening.  We have a pretty good idea what to expect.  We can prepare for it.

It’s predictable.

For you Myers Briggs types, I’m an ESTJ — Extrovert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging (but not in a bad way).  I’m practical, hardworking, structured, organized, dependable, and predictable.

Ask anyone that knows me.

  • If I say I’ll do it.  I do it.
  • If I say I’ll be there at 5:00, I’ll be there at 5:00.  Not 4:45 or 5:15.  5:00.
  • I pretty much wear the same style of clothes every day . . . . practical and not too flamboyant.
  • Give the opportunity, red wine vs a mojito.  🙂

I’m predictable and most of the people that I surround myself with appreciate it.  They know what to expect from me.  They know they can depend on me. They know what I value. I don’t live on the edge.  A relationship with me is pretty safe (possibly a little less exciting, but safe).

What happens when we are unpredictable in our personal or professional lives?

  • People stop trusting our word.
  • Our team members spend an inordinate amount of time processing “what if” scenarios in their heads.
  • Opportunities may pass us by because people aren’t comfortable that we will hold up our end of the bargain.
  • We stop getting invited to things because we may show up late (or not at all), say insensitive things or dress in appropriately.

How predictable are you?

How is your level of predictability helping or hurting your relationships?

 

 

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization:
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.
Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies