Tag Archives: ORGANIZE

Swim Lanes

I come from a family of swimmers.  At a point in time, all five of the siblings in my family were on swim teams.  I was the youngest at the age of six with my oldest brother being 14.  I can’t imagine the scheduling chaos in our family at that point time.

One swim meet in particular stands out.

It was early in my swim team career.  We were at an away meet and my suits had been forgotten at home.  My sister was six years older than me, but using her spare suit was the only option I had.  My mother jerry-rigged it the very best she could, but as you might imagine, it didn’t go well.

I was crying before I hit the water.  I was sure my suit was going to come off.  I couldn’t hold a stroke to save my life.  I was all over the place and ended up being disqualified because I wandered out of my swim lane and into the adjacent lane.

I wanted to give up.  I never wanted to swim another stroke in my life.

If I were to put adult emotions on my six-year-old self they would be:

  • Embarrassed
  • Frustrated
  • Disappointed
  • Humiliated

All because I wasn’t prepared and didn’t stay in my swim lane.

I experience some of these same emotions when I don’t stay in my swim lane as an adult.

What does staying in my swim lane mean?

Do what I am responsible for and what I do best.

Let others do what they are responsible for and what they do best.

Some examples of my swim lane restrictions:

  • In our household, everything that has a motor is the responsibility of my husband. I may pass on information like “this doesn’t seem to be working the way it used to.”  That’s it.  He gets to take it from there, I get to let it go.
  • I have been a long-time Board member of a local professional group. To that end, people send me requests and questions that do not pertain to my current Board position.   With glee, I pass them on to the appropriate individual.
  • As a coach, my clients open up to me about very personal things, sometimes asking for advice I am not qualified to give. I am not a counselor.  I am not a therapist.  When this situation comes up, it is helpful to know the boundaries of my swim lane and politely suggesting this is a situation better suited for their mental health provider.

What has embracing this swim lane philosophy done for me?

  • I’m not embarrassed when I offer solutions, even though I lacked understanding the big picture.
  • I’m not frustrated when I felt the need to meddle in someone else’s business when I wasn’t asked or invited (funny, most people would prefer I stay out of their swim lanes).
  • I’m not disappointed when my involvement in projects is not embraced.
  • I’m not humiliated when I’m told that my solution to their problem isn’t in line with their direction, desires, values, and needs.  I don’t always know best.

Although I do enjoy being helpful and supportive, being able to identify when I am wandering into someone else’s swim lane and stopping myself has been a blessing.

Thought:

Do what I am responsible for and what I do best.

Let others do what they are responsible for and what they do best.

Stay in your swim lane.

 

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

The power of mind mapping.

Sometimes making progress is really, really hard.  Even when we have a very clear idea of where we want to end up, we just can’t seem to make it through the decision-making and execution process.

Why is that?

  • There are too many options.
  • The scope is ambiguous.
  • We don’t know where to start.
  • Required chronology is uncertain.
  • We’re concerned we may forget important parts and pieces.

This, I’m certain, is just a partial list of what may run through our minds when we are contemplating a project.  Sometimes there are so many unanswered questions we just throw up our hands in frustration and don’t do anything.

When I’m stuck on a project, I use mind mapping.

What’s that?

A mind map is a great way to visually organize information.  Using the lightbulb image above as a guideline, start with the central concept.

Light bulb = Create Sales Trend Report.

The circles represent important parts and pieces of the project and process:

  • Scope
  • Stakeholders
  • Data gathering
  • Data delivery
  • Report criteria
  • Programming resources

Using the most basic of mind-mapping techniques can help generate ideas, visualize structure and process workflow, resulting in higher success and completion rates.

The cool thing about mind maps is that they can be used in any environment.  From occupational to personal, mind mapping is a great way to move from concept to completion.

Mind maps can take many forms.  Personally, I like to use the old-fashioned pencil-on-paper technique shown below.

Image source: Pinterest

Recently one of my more technically advanced clients suggested an open-source mind mapping called X-Mind, but a quick online· search resulted in a plethora of options, most with free trial options.  I’d suggest trying a few options to see what fits your personal style.

Stuck on a project?  Mind map it!

 

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

Bucket Management

“I need to change everything.”

This is the answer I get most often from my clients when asked what they’d like to focus on first in our coaching or organizing partnership.   But, change takes focus and we can’t focus on everything at the same time, right?

One of the most effective things I can do for my clients is to help them identify changes they can make that will provide the most benefit across all areas of their lives:  home, work, friends, etc.   For visualization purposes, I refer to these areas as “buckets.”

Bucket identification helps my clients recognize the broad categories within their lives and spaces, then drill down to concerns within each.

For example:

Bucket: Marriage

Concerns: communication, division of responsibility, utilization of strengths, scheduling, understanding of vulnerabilities

Bucket: Job

Concerns: time management, conflict resolution, communication, overcommitment, difficulty staying within areas of responsibility

Bucket: Self-care

Concern: sleep hygiene, routines, negative self-talk, stress management, nourishment, making time for exercise

Bucket: Home

Concerns: household chore list, incomplete projects, division of responsibility, household organization

Bucket: Family

Concerns: creating boundaries, communicating boundaries, making time for family, managing conflict

Bucket: Friends

Concerns: finding time for friends, communication is one-sided, lack of follow-through on commitments

Looking through this list, you will see some common threads: communication and time management.  Rather than work on one distinct bucket, it is more effective to work on improving communication and time management, which will positively impact multiple life buckets.

What are your life buckets and the concerns within them?  What one or two things could be improved that would provide relief across all buckets?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

Are you working with boulders or pebbles?

Things can be so dog-gone overwhelming sometimes, can’t they?

I worked with a couple clients last week that were paralyzed by their “to do” lists.  The lists were so long and the projects were so daunting that the default action was inaction.

They were trying to work with boulders when it would have been much easier to work with pebbles.

What does working with boulders vs pebbles mean?  I’ll use one of my projects as an example.

I realized that my current business name doesn’t speak to a large segment of my business: coaching.  If you were looking for a coach would you think it made sense to contact “Organize to Simplify?”  I know I wouldn’t, so I’m changing my business name which triggers a plethora of tasks.  Some of these are Boulder tasks, some are pebble tasks.

Change business name and identity:  Boulder task

  • Secure new domain: Pebble task
  • Create new logo: Boulder task
  • Create a new website: Boulder task
  • Outreach to clients and support base: Boulder task

Secure new domain: Pebble task (done)

Create new logo: Boulder task

  • Hire designer: Pebble task (done)
  • Engage with friends, family, and colleagues for their input on initial designs: Pebble task (done)
  • Submit preference to the designer: Pebble ask
  • Review 2nd round submissions, review updates with the designer: Pebble task
  • Review 3rd round submissions, review updates with the designer: Pebble task

Create a new website: Boulder task

  • Decide on new website platform: Boulder task (done)
    • Review website options and costs: Pebble task (done)
    • Review website templates: Pebble task (done)
  • Determine if the website will be self-created or hire sub-contractor: Boulder task
    • Determine if I can do it myself: Pebble task
    • Determine if I can justify sub-contractor cost: Pebble task
    • Determine timeline availability of sub-contractor matches desired deliverable: Pebble task
  • Create website sitemap: Pebble task
  • Rewrite website pages: Pebble task
  • Choose images for the website: Pebble task

Market new company: Boulder task

  • Create marketing plan: Boulder task
    • Determine marketing target: Pebble task
    • Determine marketing vehicles: Pebble task
  • Order new business cards and note cards: Pebble task
  • Write a letter of introduction to clients and support base:  Pebble task
  • Solicit LinkedIn endorsements: Pebble task
  • Solicit Google My Business endorsements: Pebble task

I fid this to be a pretty daunting, and I’m certain incomplete, list.

The task of “Change business name and identity” is a boulder task.  I would never have been able to pick that boulder up all at one time. The boulder task was too big.  I needed to create many pebbles out of that boulder in order to be successful.

What boulder tasks are you avoiding because they are too daunting?

What could you get done if you broke that boulder into pebbles?

 

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

Smell the flowers . . . if you can find them.

Photo: Ales KrivecPhoto: Ales Krivec

Spring.  It’s refreshing.  Flowers are blooming.  Birds are singing.  Life is magical . . . if it weren’t for all that dog-gone Spring Cleaning guilt.  Clean the carpets.  Clean the windows.  Clean the garage.  Clear out the clutter.

One of the quickest ways to give our surroundings a breath of fresh air is to reduce clutter and open up our spaces.  If you are surrounded by clutter, you will be more stressed, less focused, and less productive.  On average, people who are surrounded by clutter and are disorganized lose nearly an hour of productivity every day.  Generally, that hour isn’t all in one chunk, but five minutes here, ten minutes there.  You know what I’m talking about, we’ve all done it.

De-cluttering and organizing is a great start on the road to a healthier, happier you.  Yes, we know it will feel good when we are done, but how do we get started?

  1.  Pace yourself.  It didn’t get cluttered in one day; don’t try to de-clutter everything in one day.  Pick a drawer, a cupboard, a room . . . whatever feels manageable and is currently a source of pain.
  2. Enlist an objective and honest buddy to help you.  It’s hard to get rid of our own stuff, trust me I know!
  3. Have a vision of what you want to the room to feel like.  Notice I said feel, not look.  So often we have Pinterest visions but our space has physical limitations.  It’s better to envision a purpose and feel vs trying to replicate a look. Take several “before” pictures.
  4. Have a plan for getting rid of things you no longer need or want:   Donate to a charity; give to a friend you know wants something you no longer need; schedule a trash or recycle trip.  Make sure there is a solid plan to get things out of the space.
  5. At the end of the process, treat yourself to a reward for your efforts.  Decluttering is HARD WORK and a glass of wine or Dairy Queen Blizzard is most certainly deserved.

To ensure that you don’t get back in a cluttered and disorganized state, these two tips will help with ongoing maintenance:

  1. To keep clutter from creeping back, devote an hour a week to staying on top of your newly-opened up space. Whether it’s an hour every Saturday, or 15 minutes four times a week, devoting time to keeping your space in order will pay huge dividends.
  2. Keep a DONATE box or bag close at hand. Once you decide you really don’t need something, immediately put it in the box so it no longer takes up valuable space in your everyday life.

What do you want to tackle next?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

Balance: Self Value vs Stuff Value

Balance is a tricky thing.  Too much of one thing tips the scales in the other direction and we get totally out of balance.

But balance is not just about stuff vs space (although stuff vs space is a huge issue for a lot of people).  For some interesting information on how much stuff Americans have, here are some statistics from a recent CBS Morning show.

There are 50,000 self-storage facilities in the U.S., more than Dunkin’ Donuts (8,500), Subways (28,000) or McDonald’s (14,027) combined.*

And that’s just for the stuff we CAN’T fit inside our homes, where there’s more “stuff” piled in closets, bedrooms, garages and basements.

The CBS segment speaks to the stuff vs space conundrum with an interesting question: why do we park $10,000 cars outside when we fill our garages with stuff of largely no value?

Nearly all my clients struggle with the self value vs stuff value balancing act.

A client spoke to a situation at their home.  His comment to me: “my wife asked me a while ago to clear out the garage so she could park in it.”  When I inquired what “a while ago” meant he admitted it had been 18 months.  It was clear he was prioritizing the stuff value in his garage above the his wife’s self value (her request to be able to park in the garage). The prioritization realization created a perspective shift.

Another client comments regularly about how her closet (stuff) drives her crazy (self).  It is packed.  She could easily get by with half of the items in her closet and still be considered one of the best-dressed women I know.  If she eliminated half the stuff she would feel the benefit of open space, organization and clarity (self value).  For years she’s been prioritizing her stuff over herself.

And then there is the client who tries to cram too many commitments (stuff value) into his schedule resulting in limiting his time with family and friends (self value).

What’s your balance of self value vs stuff value?

* Note:  This is a direct lift from the CBS segment.  No, the math doesn’t work, but it’s close.  🙂

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

Step five. Step three. Step one. Nope.

I watched a sitcom the other day where one of the characters introduced the family to her new dog.  The look of confusion on their faces indicated having a dog made absolutely no sense.  But then she explained:

Step 5: She had a dog because .  . . .

Step 4: . . .  she was going to have a fenced yard.

Step 3: . . .  in the house that she was going to buy with her $50K paycheck.

Step 2: . . .  for being a surrogate.

Step 1: . . .  after passing her medical exam.

Some of you may have also watched this show and know exactly where this is headed.  This particular character had lept all the way to step five without ever passing through steps one through four.  Unfortunately, her plans fell apart at step one because she didn’t pass the medical exam.

How many times have we jumped all the way to the end of the process without working through the important steps along the way?  I know I have.  As a matter of fact,  I almost did it again just last week.

I heard that Google My Business is a great marketing venue.  I got very excited and started the process to create my Google My Business page.  But wait, I’m in the process of rebranding my business (new direction, new name, new client base, etc.).  How could I create Google My Business exposure without my new business name defined, my new website up and running, my rebranded logo, etc.   See what I almost did there?  I was too many steps down the path without having completed step number one . . . creating my new business identity.

Leaping over process happens with both my organizing and coaching clients on a regular basis.

My organizing clients rush out and purchase pretty bins and boxes before they know what they are keeping (purging is step one, containerizing is way down the line).

One of my coaching clients came to me with a big goal: quit my job and move to a foreign country.  Great, let’s move in that direction but don’t purchase an airline ticket before all the other pieces are in place.

What big goal are you working on that require multiple, necessary steps along the way?  How do you keep yourself from stepping over the important parts of the process?  Leaping to step five before completing steps one through four can be counter-productive, frustrating and a challenging use of resources.

If you need some help breaking those big projects down into manageable pieces, ask a respected colleague, friend, family member or any other support structure for some assistance.

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

What’s your gap?

When I start working with clients I ask them to describe two visions:

  1. Where are you right now?
  2. Where do you want to be?

With those two questions clearly understood, we can start the process of change that moves someone from where they are now, to where they want to be.  In essence, closing the gap between their two visions.

What do I mean by “the gap?”

“Steve” wanted to get a job that better fit his strengths and ADHD diagnosis.  His current job involved phone sales 8:00 AM – 5:00 PM with very little in-person contact and a lot of sitting.  His vision of the perfect job involved travel, in-person communication and a high level of flexibility. “Steve” had a very clear vision, he knew where he wanted to be, but there was uncertainty about the process to get there.

“Kathy” wanted to take more control of her life.  Her current routine was highly irregular and impulsive.  She would go to bed and wake up “whenever,” with little direction for how her day unfolded.  Most days she went to bed frustrated because she had little to show for her waking hours.  “Kathy” wanted a more productive life she could feel good about.  She wanted to go to bed by 11:00 PM, get up at 7:00 AM and have a robust, attainable schedule for her day.  A very large gap from where “Kathy” was and where she wanted to be, but there was passion about getting there, one step at a time.

“Susie” wanted to have a home she could be proud, one to which she could invite friends and family to visit.   Unfortunately, the current state of her home was very cluttered, disorganized and in some rooms, not physically safe.  She continually brought additional items into the home without moving any items out.   Her vision was of a home that reflected her many life experiences but was not so overwhelmed with clutter that she was in constant fear of tripping.  This gap was physical, but closing that gap would open up a world of social interaction that hadn’t been experienced in a long time.

Each of these clients had a clear vision of where they were now and an even clearer vision of where they wanted to be.  The disconnect was the gap.

Closing the gap is different for everyone, but it almost always involves a significant emotional component.  And a lot of time, that component is fear.

Fear of being rejected in our job search so we settle for the status quo.

Fear of failure and sometimes even fear of success.

Fear that if we get our lives a little more in order even more will be expected of us.

Fear that if we let something physically go, the memories attached to it will go too.

Fear of the unknown.

What do you want to change?  Where are you now?  Where do you want to be?  What’s your gap?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

Taxes stressing you out?

“Yikes! I’m not even close to getting my taxes done and so stressed out about it!”

Not surprisingly, this time of year creates a lot of stress and anxiety for people . . . . especially for those that may have some procrastination, organization and motivation challenges.

Generally speaking, taxes are frustrating, confusing, and sometimes moderately depressing.  Therefore, we tend to procrastinate when it comes to filing our taxes.  According to Wolf Tax, there are five general reasons we procrastinate when it comes to filing our taxes:

  • Excuses:   We can come up with lots of circumstances as to why we don’t do things, especially if the excuses are self-serving and other people around you are doing it too.  “Groupthink” anyone?
  • Thrill-Seeking:   Sometimes waiting until the last possible moment to do something gives us an emotional high.  Generally, this is a short-lived payoff.
  • No obvious penalty: There’s no penalty for dropping them off at the post office at 11:59 PM on April 15.  Why hurry?
  • Work better under pressure: Actually, people are less effective and more prone to make errors when working under pressure.
  • Perfectionism: Often referred to as “perfection paralysis.”  We don’t want to start a project because we fear the outcome may not be “perfect.”  Perfect stands in the way of progress.

Hopefully, you’ve already filed your taxes, received your refund, and none of what I’m presenting applies to you.  If so, nicely done!

If you are still waiting to file your taxes, here are your next few steps:

  1. Call For A Tax Appointment: Stop reading right now and call for an appointment with your tax preparer.  If you don’t have one, now is a good time to do some research.  There are, of course, a plethora of tax preparation options. You can do an internet search on “tax preparation services,” but now may be a great time to use that social network you’ve been building.  Ask your friends and relatives if they have anyone to recommend.  In addition, there may be some free tax preparation services available depending on your age and income. Search “free tax preparation services” and you will get a lot of
  2. Gather Your Documents:  By now you should have received all the documents required to prepare your taxes.  These documents may include, but are not limited to:
  • W-2s from your employers,
  • 1099-MISC forms for self-employment income,
  • 1099-INT (interest) and 1099-DIV (dividends) forms,
  • 1099-B forms showing brokerage trades in stocks and bonds,
  • K-1 forms for income from a partnership, small business, or trust,
  • 1099-SSA form showing Social Security received,
  • Documentation of charitable donations.

Other great sources for documents you may need to prepare your taxes:
Tax Preparation Documents for Homeowners
Documents To Take To Your Accountant

  1. Create A Reusable File System To Track And Maintain Tax Documents: Once you’ve gathered all your documents, create a simple filing system (it may only be two file folders or envelopes) that will allow you to repeat this process year-after-year (generally tax documentation requirements will be the same from year-to-year unless there are major life changes).

Envelope #1 Current Year Taxes:  This envelope will contain a checklist of all the documents that were required to file the current years’ taxes, plus all backup documentation.

Envelope #2 Next Year Taxes: This envelope will contain the checklist of documents you need to gather for the next year’s tax cycle.  Using this previously-created and tax preparer-approved form will make it easier to ensure you have all the documentation you need for simple tax preparation come year end.

I suggest using sturdy, plastic folders or envelopes for this purpose, that way you’re not replacing them every year.  Plastic File Folders or  Plastic Envelopes

Filing taxes isn’t always fun and rewarding, but the consequences of not filing (or not filing on time) can be expensive and stressful.  Don’t procrastinate.

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

“If only . . .” = Change

“He says he doesn’t care about being fashionable, if only he dressed more like Michael.”

“She is really good at her job, if only she wanted to stay home with the kids like my mom did.”

“I know life will be perfect if only I could only lose a few pounds.”

What we mean when we say “if only” is there is a need for change, in someone else or ourselves.

As part of my coaching practice, my clients focus a lot on change.  Not only do people want to make changes in their own lives (which I fully support), but they want to make changes to other people too.  Don’t get me wrong, most of us have things about ourselves we’d like to change and I support that 100%.  But what does it say about us that we feel the need to change others?

Let’s take each of the above statements just a little further:

“He says he doesn’t care about being fashionable, if only he dressed more like Michael.”

He didn’t care about fashion when you met him, why should he care about that now?  Why should you?  What changed? Why bring someone else into your relationship?  What kind of pressure are you putting on Michael to maintain your level of perfection?

“She is really good at her job, if only she wanted to stay home with the kids like my mom did.”

My guess is that one of the things that attracted you to her was the drive and determination she had for her job.  What changed?   How much is her job a part of her?  What happens when you ask her to give up something that’s important to her?  Are your needs more important than hers?

“I know life will be perfect if only I could only lose a few pounds.”

Comments like these hurt me to the core.  I struggled with self-image issues when I was younger (actually, still do) and I was certain that my life would be perfect if only I lost 25 pounds.  Then I lost 25 pounds and low-and-behold, life was not perfect.  What I found was that the people who truly loved and cared about me thought I was perfect just the way I was.  They didn’t see a need for change, why did I?

How much happier would we be if we could eliminate “if only” from our lives and look at others, and ourselves, as perfect just the way we are?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.