Tag Archives: happiness

Salma Hayek Pinault: “I’m very hard on myself . . . “

I recently listened to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast with Salma Hayek Pinault.  Although the podcast was titled “More to Say About Harvey Weinstein,” I found the podcast had next to nothing to do with Mr. Weinstein but more about kindness, not only for others but for ourselves.

During the conversation, Oprah asked a powerful question:

“What’s the lesson that’s taken you personally the longest to learn in your life?”

Ms. Hayek Pinault’s answer resonated deeply with me:

“I’m very hard on myself and not too long ago I realized I detect what I want to change, and then I disappoint myself if I don’t change it right away, you know.  But it takes time for change. And I’ve noticed that if you really look, there are things that I don’t even remember that I was doing before and I didn’t like doing them because I’ve changed so profoundly that I don’t even remember I was like that anymore. And when I’m hard on my myself I have to remind myself that if I continue to believe in me and to be positive and to be kind to myself and to others, whether it will come, the changes that I want about myself, one day it will come.  If you disappoint yourself, sometimes you give up.”

Although I believe myself to be a very kind individual, I found myself wanting to take a closer look at the connection between kindness and happiness and, boy, is there a connection!

According to a Huffington Post article, the benefits of kindness are significant.

1) We are happier.

Doing something for someone else, makes us feel good, both emotionally and biologically. The reference to “Helper’s High” comes from elevated levels of dopamine in the brain, resulting in a natural high.

Kindness = Happiness

2) We are healthier.

Acts of kindness result in elevated production of oxytocin.  Oxytocin causes the release of nitric oxide which expands blood vessels, reducing blood pressure.

Kindness = Health

3) We age more slowly.

Back to oxytocin.  Oxytocin reduces levels of free radicals and lowers inflammation, both significant factors in the aging process.

Kindness = Longer Life

4) We have stronger relationships.

We like people that show us, and themselves, kindness.  Kindness creates bonds. Whether we are creating new bonds or strengthening existing bonds, kindness plays a key role.

Kindness = Stronger Relationships

5) We pass kindness on.

Kind people are inspirational. Think back to the last time you witnessed kindness, what was your next instinct?  Passing it on, right?  In 2014  a Starbucks customer paid for the drink of the drive-through customer behind her, resulting in a chain of 378 acts of “pay it forward” kindness.  Kindness is contagious.

Kindness = More Kindness

Kindness.  Can it be that simple?  Can being kind to others and ourselves be the ticket to health and happiness  Apparently so.

What’s your next kindness experiment?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

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What does happiness mean to you?

We are nearing the end of Pursuit of Happiness Week.  (Yes, there is such a thing.)  I’m writing this post at the end of the week because I really wanted to pay attention to my own experience of focusing on happiness this week before putting pen to paper.

It was an interesting week of introspection.  When I consciously looked for opportunities to engage with happiness, opportunities appeared in small and large ways.

  • I spent 11 days with my 88-year old mother. Every morning I presented her with a latte with a chocolate powder heart on top.  That made her smile.  Making her smile made me happy.
  • The power went off at our house for eight hours. When it came back on, I was happy  . . . and grateful.  It’s amazing how much more I appreciated heat and lights.
  • Seeing our two rescue Boxers play in the front yard like they didn’t have a care in the world (which they don’t) made me happy. We changed their lives.
  • I take my grandson to indoor soccer practice. Watching 15 4-year olds having the time of their lives and learning a new skill made me happy.

So, tell me, what does “being happy” really mean?

According to dictionary.com, a partial definition of happiness is “Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good.”

I like this definition.  It brings our own needs and values into play and puts the determination of success in our own hands.  No one else can determine what happiness means to us.  We can not be held to other’s standards of what happiness means. It’s all on us.  We determine what happiness is; only we can determine if we are successful or not.

You’ve probably also heard “Happiness is managing expectations.”  I honestly believe that managing expectations is the key to happiness.

  • I’m an okay golfer. Not a great golfer.  If my happiness was dependent upon being a great golfer I would fail miserably.
  • I makedecent money in my coaching and organizing business. My happiness is dependent upon making changes in others’ lives, not in a large savings account.
  • I have a small but devoted group of friends. If my happiness was dependent upon having the most FB friends, I would be unhappy indeed.

What makes you happy?  What can you control about your happiness?

Cindy Jobs

www.organizetosimplify.com

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter
National Association of Professional Organizers, Seattle Chapter Vice President
ICD_LogoTag_Horz_72 website
Institute for Challenging Disorganization
Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.
Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.

 

Coach Approach for Organizers
Graduate of the Comprehensive Training Program: Coaching Essentials; Strengths-Based Coaching; Brain-Based Coaching; Life and ADHD Coaching; and Organizer Coach Integration
Graduate-level training: Body-Based Coaching; ADHD Coaching Competencies