Tag Archives: communication

Delegation: The key to success

Manager to a team member: “Please graph 2nd quarter sales, this year to last year.”

Sibling to sibling: “When you go see Mom, please water the flower boxes.”

Spouse to spouse: “Can you stop and get milk on the way home, please?”

Parent to child: “Before you go out to play, please unload the dishwasher and set the table.”

One of the most tried and true ways to get more done is to delegate effectively.

Note I said “effectively.”  We can’t just delegate willy-nilly, we need to ensure we are delegating fairly, responsibly, AND we need to follow up accordingly.  (For those of us that might have some control tendencies, delegating requires us to take a deep breath and take a leap of faith.)

What does it mean to delegate?

1: to entrust to another

  • delegate authority
  • delegated the task to her assistant

2: to appoint as one’s representative

Do delegate . . .

. . . assignments you aren’t good at and/or don’t like to do.

. . . things that you don’t have time for.

. . . repetitive tasks.

. . . chores that need to get done, but not necessarily by you.  Just because you’ve always done them, doesn’t mean you need to continue to.

. . . responsibilities that will empower others.

Don’t delegate . . .

. . . things you love to do.  Even mundane tasks can be rewarding. Personally, even when I had an awesome, capable team, I still loved to file.

. . . one-time tasks where your expertise can get it done quickly and efficiently.

. . . responsibilities that require your personal attention (don’t delegate a presentation when someone has requested you as the presenter, but do delegate compiling the slides and handouts).

. . . things that require a level of expertise only you possess (no delegating that brain surgery!)

. . . things where only you can ensure the confidentiality of sensitive information.

Some things to delegate:

  • Business reports
  • Meeting organization
  • Tax preparation and filing
  • Laundry and cleaning
  • Grocery shopping
  • Errands
  • Household maintenance and repairs

Delegation doesn’t require a team of employees.  Look around.  See what needs to be done.  Prepare a list.  Ask for assistance.  Empower others to learn and grow. Give yourself more time to do what you do best.

What can you delegate to make room for what’s most important?

 

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and AD

Slow the heck down!

I’m at my mom’s celebrating her 89th birthday.  As usual, when I visit, there’s a list of things she (I) would like to accomplish.

Here’s this trip’s list:

  1. Organize photos.
  2. Install screen to hide the garage work area.
  3. Install pull-out organizers in bathroom cabinets.
  4. Get bedspread dry-cleaned.
  5. Do a little de-cluttering.
  6. Coordinate celebratory dinner.
  7. Relax and have fun (Mom’s list, not mine).

Honestly, #7 was not even on my radar, but it seems to get moved to the top of the list almost every trip.

The following things were not on the list but happened anyway:

  1. Leisurely coffee, muffins, and chit chat every morning.
  2. Dinner at my brother and sister-in-law’s house.
  3. Two ceremoniously long lunches with my mom and sister.
  4. A casual get-together with an amazing high-school buddy.
  5. Lunch with my mom, sister, and nephew.

Although we did get a lot of our tasks completed, there were so much more I wanted to “accomplish.”  But, really, didn’t we accomplish the important stuff?

In a year, what will my mom remember about her birthday week?  I think she will remember that we strengthened the family bonds beyond what even those family photos show.

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

It’s heeeeeeeere . . . Back to School!

Wow!  Where has this summer gone? It’s hard to believe, but some schools have already started and several start in the next couple of weeks.

Although I don’t have any children in the back-to-school range, a few of my clients do.  I’ve experienced, through them, how getting everyone ready to head back into the classroom adds an extra layer of anxiety and stress to the last few lazy days of summer.    Below are some quick and easy tips to get you started and make the transition a little smoother.

But, before we get into the nitty-gritty of back-to-school strategies, I’d love to share some of my favorite commercials.  (Note:  I do not endorse any retailer for shopping purposes, however, I do love their commercials!)

Target’s “Rock It” is pretty fun.

Walmart’s “Let’s Get It Started” is heartwarming.

2017 Walmart Super Hero commercial makes me smile every time I saw it.

Vintage Staples “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” is a fun twist on a Christmas classic.

Vintage Walmart College Dorm Set-Up may bring a tear to your eye.

School Supplies:

    1. Get a copy of the school’s supply list.  I was able to find the school supply list for my local middle school online within just 30 seconds.  Doing a web search should result in a list similar to this (I searched “Lake Stevens School supply list”).  I also found a well-organized file of school supply lists at my local Staples, so check with your local retailers.
    2. Once you have the list, shop at home.  Chances are, you will have a good number of the supplies already on hand.  There’s no need to purchase a full set of supplies every year.
    3. If you have supplies you aren’t using (or don’t foresee using in the near future), donate them to a school or to a local Boys and Girls Club.  I’m certain they will be put to better use than taking up space in your home.
  1. Clothes:
    1. Check with your school to see if there are dress codes that need to be followed. If so, ensure that you and your student reads and understands them prior to embarking on the clothes shopping adventure.  I can’t imagine much more frustrating than finding out your son/daughter have clothes they love, but can’t wear to school.
    2. Depending on the age of your student, you will more than likely need to go shopping with them.   Although it may be simpler to just do the shopping on your own, having your child with you may be more efficient.  If you shop with your child, you will ensure the clothes fit properly, they feel good wearing them, and they are something they like and will wear.  So many of my clients spend inordinate amounts of time shopping/returning/shopping/returning.  The added stress and time generally isn’t worth it.
  2. Classes:  Hopefully at this point, classes have been signed up for.  If not, get in touch with the school to set an appointment to register as soon as possible.  This has been especially troublesome for first-year college students.
  3. Extra-curricular activities:  Have all extra-curricular activities been signed up for?  Has the appropriate equipment been arranged for?  If not, now’s the time to start working through that process.
  4. Transportation:  Most of my clients work at least part-time out of the home, so arranging transportation for any after-school activities is critical.
  5. Health requirements:  Does the school require specific health tests or immunizations?  Again, a quick online search led to this information for our local school district.
  6. Daily schedules:  Because our student’s days are generally less structured during the summer, some habits may have developed that need to be changed in order to be successful when school starts.  Now’s the time to start adjusting to getting up earlier, scheduling study time, and creating a new routine for getting to bed on time.

Changes in schedules tend to add a little stress to our lives, but some excellent pre-planning goes a long way to making the transition just a little easier!

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

The Real Costs of Procrastination

Most of us do at least a little of it every day.

Procrastinate.

We tell ourselves “I’ll get to that later” and most of the time we do.  But what happens if we don’t?  What if we procrastinate too long?   What are the costs?

We try to convince ourselves that there’s little-to-no cost of procrastination, but there can be significant costs, some very tangible, others more subtle.

Relationships:  We’d like to think that the people closest to us know we have only the best intentions when it comes to follow-through, but what about the every day costs to our relationships that procrastinating causes? The partner that agreed to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home and procrastinates until the cleaner is closed. The parent who agreed to bake for the school event and procrastinates until it’s too late and disappoints their child by providing store-bought treats instead of the home-made they’d promised their classmates.  The friend that promises to make a dinner reservation for a special event and procrastinates until the restaurant can’t accommodate the request.  Yes, these are all small things, but significant in relationship-building.  Cost of procrastination:  Trust.

Health:  As a breast cancer survivor, I am keenly aware of the cost of putting off health-related appointments.  Regular health screenings and preventative maintenance, like flu and pneumonia shots, are critical to our well-being so they shouldn’t be put off.  Use whatever strategy works to get things done: schedule mammograms with a girlfriend then go to lunch; schedule all the appointments on your birthday as a gift to yourself; schedule a massage or a round of golf after all the appointment are complete.  You get the idea, whatever works to motivate. Cost of procrastination:  Poor health.

Household Chores:  I don’t know anyone that likes to clean the gutters.  Cleaning gutters involves a ladder, dragging it around the house, possibly getting on the roof (I recommend hiring an expert if your gutters need to be cleaned from the roof or if the ladder is too high), and smelly, wet leaves.   And, as gutter-cleaning procrastinators, we generally end up doing it in the rain and at night since  that’s when we notice that the drainpipes are overflowing.  Wouldn’t it have been much easier to have cleaned the gutters on a nice, sunny Saturday before the rain starts?  From personal experience, I can tell you it is.  And it’s not just gutters we need to worry about.  Not cleaning furnace filters will result in reduced productivity and higher energy bills.  Not cleaning the dryer vents may result in a lint fire.  Not checking the water softener will result in spotty glasses. The list goes on and on.  Cost of procrastination:  Stress, money, and safety.

Home/Car Repairs:  It’s a fact of life, things break.  Whether it’s the toaster, the sink, or the car, stuff just happens and we have to deal with it.  The cost of not fixing or replacing a faulty toaster could mean no toast in the morning or getting shocked while trying to retrieve the toast with a kitchen fork (strongly NOT recommended!).  The costs of not fixing a leaky sink could be just a minor annoyance to extensive damage to flooring, cabinetry or walls.  The cost of not addressing squeaky brakes could be devastating to the safety of ourselves and our loved ones.  Cost of procrastination:  Money, major home/car repairs,  and safety.

Organization (my personal favorite):  According to a study conducted by a Boston marketing firm, the average American burns 55 minutes per day – roughly 13 days a year – looking for things they know they own but can’t find.  Disorganization manifests itself in many ways:  wasted time because we can’t find things; finance charges because we didn’t pay our bills on time; late fees for not returning a library book or DVD; money wasted replacing things we already own because we couldn’t find them when we needed them; and trust because we didn’t finish a project on time due to dysfunctional time management.   Being organized means we can find things when we need them, we can do the things we need to do when they need to be done, and we can get the places we need to get on time.   Cost of procrastination:  Time, money, and trust.

Wills:  Not that any of us want to think about it, but at some point, our earthly possessions will need to be passed on to someone else.  It’s true, as cool as our stuff is, we can’t take it with us.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we had some say in where our cool stuff went?  Well, that’s what wills  are for.  A number of surveys recently showed between 55% – 64% of of  Americans had not written their wills.  That number doesn’t surprise me at all.  It should, but it doesn’t.  None of us want to think about death and dying, but it is irresponsible to our loved ones not to take care of this important process.  Cost of procrastination: Money, Relationships.

Financial Planning:  Detailed and thorough financial planning is critical to our long-term well- being.    When we are in our twenties and thirties, we can’t see past a new pair of jeans, let alone think about planning for our retirement.  Those days just seem too far away, but it’s never too early to start planning for our retirement. What’s the benefit of starting early?   Using the compound interest calculator, I wanted to see how much a relatively small investment could grow over time.  I started with $1,000 and estimated that I’d put in an additional $50 per month (about 10 lattes with a generous tip) and calculated the growth over 10 years at a 5% interest rate.  What would I have at the end of that time period?  $9,175.63.  Change it to 20 years and the number becomes a staggering $22,492.87.  Amazing what a little planning and discipline could do for our long-term financial well being.  Cost of procrastination: Limited Retirement Savings, Reduced Retirement Enjoyment.

Taxes:  According to a CBS News post, the cost of waiting until the last minute to file income taxes costs on average an additional  $400.  It’s not that we can just choose to not pay our taxes by April 15 (give or take).  (Well, some folks may, but I’m guessing the cost of that decision is much greater than $400.)   We are just delaying the inevitable.   If we thought we were getting money back on our taxes, we’d be Johnny-On-The-Spot when it came to filing our taxes, right?  Not necessarily. Procrastinators are procrastinators, and whether we think we are getting money back or having to give Uncle Sam money, we generally wait until the last minute to do it anyway.  In addition, the extra $400, the stress of not knowing takes a tremendous toll.   Cost of procrastination:  Money, stress.

Business Costs:  A 2012 CNBC post identified the cost of procrastination in business as being a staggering $10,396 . . . . per employee . . . per year.  Wow!  The article referred to procrastination as “the most invisible cost in business today.”  I don’t doubt it.  When I worked in “Corporate America,” I surely procrastinated a bit on projects that I knew needed to get done, but I just didn’t feel motivated to do.  Why did I procrastinate?  Generally, I felt I didn’t know enough about the project to get started, didn’t feel I had the appropriate resources to get the project completed, or just found other stuff that was more fun to do.  Cost of procrastination:  Money, Credibility, Possible Promotion

Insurance:  After procrastinating on the project for a couple years, we went through a comprehensive analysis of our home insurance needs.  After extensive research, we found an amazing insurance package that was far less in cost with far more coverage.  Had I gone through the process a few years earlier, we would have been able to save several thousand dollars AND had more extensive coverage.  It sickens me to think of what I might have been able to do with that money. The same goes for renewing any kind of insurance:  auto, home, personal liability, health, etc.  I worked with a client several years ago that hadn’t done a detailed review of their business auto insurance in several years.  After an analysis of their coverage, it was determined that two of their vehicles hadn’t been included in the policy.  Can you imagine the cost had there been an accident with one of those vehicles?   Frightening.   Cost of procrastination:  Money, Peace of Mind, Liability

Fortunately, procrastination can be managed.  It requires scheduling, initiative, and a drive to do better, but it can be done.

The best way to stop procrastinating?  Just get started.  Starting small will provide the momentum to finish.  Unfinished tasks are uncomfortable for us.  Once we get started, we have the drive to finish.

 

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

Project: Family Reunion

Our family just held our annual family reunion.  It was an amazing 3-day event with up to 60 people participating in the main event on Saturday.  Participants ranged from 7-months to 86-years old.  Pulling off an event of this magnitude with such a varying age range can be quite the feat, requiring a ton of planning and patience.

Here’s how we made it work:

  1. Select an event chair, or better yet, a couple of co-chairs to handle the planning and coordination.  Depending on the size of the reunion, you may only need one, but for 3-day event and 60 participants, it was great to spread the event coordination around a bit

 

  1. Decide on a time of year and venue.

Our reunion is always held around the 4th of July (easy travel for everyone, generally not a lot of competing events like there would be in the November/December time period, the weather is predictable, events can be held outside, etc.) and it’s always held at the same place.

Choose the venue carefully.  If someone’s home can manage it, great.  If you need to rent a space, be sure to get that done early.  If you are coordinating people from across the country, attempt to find a venue that is geographically central, not requiring people to travel too great of distances.

 

  1. Set up early and frequent communication.  The more communication there is around your family reunion, the better opportunity to get people excited and eager to attend.

If possible, include some fun stories and photos from previous reunions to pique people’s interest.

Be careful to include communication styles that everyone can participate in.  For example, although e-mail is efficient, not everyone uses e-mail.  If e-mail is your chosen mode of communication, make sure someone is assigned to pass on the pertinent information to those who don’t get e-mail. (My 88-year old Mom doesn’t have an active e-mail account so my brother prints e-mails for her.)

 

  1. Create a spreadsheet or mind map including everything that needs to be in place for a successful reunion.  Be sure to include:

Food:  Solicit volunteers to bring specific dishes or categories of food (i.e. appetizers, main course, vegetables, dessert, bread, beverages, etc.).  Solicit information regarding specialty food requirements, possibly requesting participants bring their own specialty food and beverages.

Games:  Solicit volunteers to manage entertainment for all ages.  For example, sidewalk chalk and bubbles for the younger ones, badminton for the older kids, and video games for all ages.

Functional needs for the event:  For example, determine who will be decorating, ensuring sufficient silverware/plates/glasses are available, making certain all the potluck food makes it to the serving table (we missed putting the Jello out one year and no one needs Jello for 60 after the event), managing the trash, locating the First Aid kit and sunscreen and bug spray and so on and so on and so on.

 

  1. Solicit volunteers . . . and lots of them. When John Heywood quoted “many hands make light work” he probably wasn’t thinking about family reunions at the time, but the phrase holds true.  Everyone (age appropriate) should be part of the planning and execution process.  Too few people trying to handle too many things may result in a less successful event, stress, and hurt feelings.

 

  1. Pack your patience and gratitude. Events of this magnitude can be stressful.  Chances are things will not go 100% to plan.  Dinner may be late, participants may not bring the items they committed to, children may not get along, etc.  Keep in mind the reason for the event . . . connecting people and sharing love.

 

  1. Be sure to take lots of photos. It’s possible the family reunion may be the only time some of the cousins, aunts, and uncles may see each other.  Photos are a great way to keep the connection after the event is over.  Plus, for events that are held multiple years, it’s fun to see how people have changed.

 

  1. Take lots and lots of notes. If there are plans to repeat the tradition, having notes from the previous year(s) will be invaluable.  How many adults/children were present?  How much of the main course was consumed? What other food was available? What beverages were available and how much was consumed? How many people participated in particular events?

 

  1. Ask for feedback. When holding any kind of event, it’s great to solicit feedback from attendees.  What did they like?  What didn’t they like?  What would the like to see more of? Less of?  Was the timing right? Was the venue appropriate?  Knowing what worked and didn’t work will make next year’s event that much more successful!

A well-planned and executed family reunion will allow you to create and rekindle connections, share experiences, and provide a base for ongoing commitment to family.

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know.” was one of the phrases I previously feared using the most.

Now I embrace it.

What did I used to think “I don’t know.” said about me?

  1. I was uninformed.
  2. I was unprepared.
  3. I wasn’t as good as someone else.
  4. I was vulnerable and weak.

Questions I wanted to answer “I don’t know.” to but was too afraid:

  1. What were the annual sales of this product two years ago?
  2. How long will it take to create that new report?
  3. What changes did Kathy’s group make that cut their lead time by 15%?
  4. What would be the benefit of assigning that project to another team?

Having to say “I don’t know.” struck fear in my heart and left me feeling stressed, anxious and exhausted.  I had convinced myself that there was an expectation that I knew everything all the time.   I certainly didn’t.  I felt like an imposter.

I will admit, there were times when I truly didn’t know but would try to bluff my way through anyway.  Not a strategy I would recommend as on more than one occasion this strategy did not work out well . . . at all.

But in actuality “I don’t know.” can be incredibly powerful, made even stronger followed by “Let me find out.”  What does using these two simple phrases say about you?

  • You are honest about your knowledge.
  • You know your limitations.
  • You are open to exploration.
  • You do not always need to be the expert.
  • You are willing to be vulnerable, making it easier for others to be vulnerable around you.

Who would you prefer to be known as?  The person in the bullet points above, or the stressed, anxious, and exhausted person that considers themselves an imposter.

I don’t know, do you?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

Bucket Management

“I need to change everything.”

This is the answer I get most often from my clients when asked what they’d like to focus on first in our coaching or organizing partnership.   But, change takes focus and we can’t focus on everything at the same time, right?

One of the most effective things I can do for my clients is to help them identify changes they can make that will provide the most benefit across all areas of their lives:  home, work, friends, etc.   For visualization purposes, I refer to these areas as “buckets.”

Bucket identification helps my clients recognize the broad categories within their lives and spaces, then drill down to concerns within each.

For example:

Bucket: Marriage

Concerns: communication, division of responsibility, utilization of strengths, scheduling, understanding of vulnerabilities

Bucket: Job

Concerns: time management, conflict resolution, communication, overcommitment, difficulty staying within areas of responsibility

Bucket: Self-care

Concern: sleep hygiene, routines, negative self-talk, stress management, nourishment, making time for exercise

Bucket: Home

Concerns: household chore list, incomplete projects, division of responsibility, household organization

Bucket: Family

Concerns: creating boundaries, communicating boundaries, making time for family, managing conflict

Bucket: Friends

Concerns: finding time for friends, communication is one-sided, lack of follow-through on commitments

Looking through this list, you will see some common threads: communication and time management.  Rather than work on one distinct bucket, it is more effective to work on improving communication and time management, which will positively impact multiple life buckets.

What are your life buckets and the concerns within them?  What one or two things could be improved that would provide relief across all buckets?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

Old Dog, New Tricks

How often have we heard the phrase “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Thirty years ago neural researchers would have sworn that mental development ended in your twenties.  The prevailing theory was that “the brain simply didn’t undergo any significant change in capacity after late adolescence” (Immunity to Change, Kegan, and Lahey).  Imagine that.

Fast forward 30 years and studies show the brain has the ability to continue to adapt throughout life. Why is that important? We are living longer, and the longer we live the more we need to continue to learn and grow.  Not just because of the demand, but also the desire.

Desire is a key point.  If we desire change, we will strive to achieve it.  If change is demanded, we tend to resist.  How is this reflected in change?

Desire vs Demand

My dad was over 65 when he decided to learn how to snowboard.  He wanted to snowboard so he would have something in common with his grandkids.  Desire was strong, demand was absent.

My husband is almost 69 years old.  He is the “go to” guy for tech support within our house and amongst his employees, friends, and family.  He feels a need to embrace technology to support his family, friends, and business.  Both desire and demand are strong.

At 50 I embarked on a new career: coaching and organizing.  I have a passion for helping people break through their physical and emotional clutter to help them create the lives they want to live, not the life they feel stuck in.  Both desire and demand are strong.

We have some friends that are taking up golf in their 60s.  Now, golf is not an easy sport and can be incredibly frustrating, but they just keep going.  Desire is strong, demand is absent.

Again with my dad.  He was an electrical inspector.  He loved his job.  He met the most amazing people, and couldn’t wait to get into the office every day to see his office colleagues.  Then technology raised it’s ugly head when my dad was about 65.  He was now required to receive and file his inspection reports on a computer.  He was able to give up his commute to the office but missed seeing his colleagues and the technology kicked his you know what. He couldn’t (didn’t want to) get the hang of it.  Demand was strong, the desire was absent.  He retired.

When you are handed a new challenge, how do you see it?  Desire vs demand?  Are you more inclined to try harder one way or the other?  Does it change your perspective on the challenge?  How would a perspective shift help?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

Looking for more information?

Click here for 15-minute organizing tips.

 

 

 

 

www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD

 

 

 

Are you listening?

Yesterday was a day full of observation and personal enlightenment.

I listened to an Oprah SuperSoul podcast with Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk, author and Nobel Peace Prize nominee.    Although the entire podcast was extremely interesting, at 23 minutes in, the term “compassionate listening” comes up.  This was a new phrase to me, so it piqued my interest.

Thich Nhat Hanh revealed his communication mantras to support compassionate listening.

“I’m here for you.”  The most precious thing you can offer is your presence.

“I know you are there.”  Recognizing other’s presence reinforces your commitment to the communication process.

“I know you suffer.”  Acknowledgment of suffering or hurting reinforces listening.

“I suffer.  Please help me.”  Letting others know you are suffering will help reduce our own suffering and is an open request for compassion.

Although the mantras aren’t phrases I would say out loud, the concepts intrigued me so I decided to do an experiment on my own compassionate listening.

“I’m here for you.”

I talk to my 86-year old mother nearly every night.  The conversations are very similar so I find myself doing dishes, folding clothes, or checking my e-mail.  I’m certainly not listening with compassion.  Am I even hearing what she’s saying?  Am I here for her?

“I know you are there.”

I pick up my grandkids on Monday afternoons.  I love my time with them, but sometimes find myself reaching for the radio dial to catch up on the latest news.  What might I be missing if I don’t leave the space open for my 4-1/2-year-old grandson to engage with me about how many school busses we see on the way home? Do I show that I know they are there?

“I know you suffer.”

A friend called with a frustrating family situation.  Although I could sense the frustration involved a significant disconnect between perceptions, bringing that to her attention wasn’t what she needed. She just needed to be heard.  There may be another time to discuss perceptions, but at the time, she just needed to vent.  Acknowledging her frustration, acknowledged her suffering.

“I suffer.  Please help me.”

I can revisit many conversations where I have been angry or discouraged but didn’t want to open myself to the vulnerability of acknowledging my suffering.  How might I have benefitted from that openness?  How might others have been able to help me work through that anger or discouragement?

I invite you to be your own observer of your compassionate listening.  Better yet, invite someone you love and respect to observe for you.  What might you learn?  What might you gain?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

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Salma Hayek Pinault: “I’m very hard on myself . . . “

I recently listened to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast with Salma Hayek Pinault.  Although the podcast was titled “More to Say About Harvey Weinstein,” I found the podcast had next to nothing to do with Mr. Weinstein but more about kindness, not only for others but for ourselves.

During the conversation, Oprah asked a powerful question:

“What’s the lesson that’s taken you personally the longest to learn in your life?”

Ms. Hayek Pinault’s answer resonated deeply with me:

“I’m very hard on myself and not too long ago I realized I detect what I want to change, and then I disappoint myself if I don’t change it right away, you know.  But it takes time for change. And I’ve noticed that if you really look, there are things that I don’t even remember that I was doing before and I didn’t like doing them because I’ve changed so profoundly that I don’t even remember I was like that anymore. And when I’m hard on my myself I have to remind myself that if I continue to believe in me and to be positive and to be kind to myself and to others, whether it will come, the changes that I want about myself, one day it will come.  If you disappoint yourself, sometimes you give up.”

Although I believe myself to be a very kind individual, I found myself wanting to take a closer look at the connection between kindness and happiness and, boy, is there a connection!

According to a Huffington Post article, the benefits of kindness are significant.

1) We are happier.

Doing something for someone else, makes us feel good, both emotionally and biologically. The reference to “Helper’s High” comes from elevated levels of dopamine in the brain, resulting in a natural high.

Kindness = Happiness

2) We are healthier.

Acts of kindness result in elevated production of oxytocin.  Oxytocin causes the release of nitric oxide which expands blood vessels, reducing blood pressure.

Kindness = Health

3) We age more slowly.

Back to oxytocin.  Oxytocin reduces levels of free radicals and lowers inflammation, both significant factors in the aging process.

Kindness = Longer Life

4) We have stronger relationships.

We like people that show us, and themselves, kindness.  Kindness creates bonds. Whether we are creating new bonds or strengthening existing bonds, kindness plays a key role.

Kindness = Stronger Relationships

5) We pass kindness on.

Kind people are inspirational. Think back to the last time you witnessed kindness, what was your next instinct?  Passing it on, right?  In 2014  a Starbucks customer paid for the drink of the drive-through customer behind her, resulting in a chain of 378 acts of “pay it forward” kindness.  Kindness is contagious.

Kindness = More Kindness

Kindness.  Can it be that simple?  Can being kind to others and ourselves be the ticket to health and happiness  Apparently so.

What’s your next kindness experiment?

Cindy Jobs, COC, ACC

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www.organizetosimplify.com

 

 

 

National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals, Seattle Chapter Vice-President

 

 

 

International Coach Federation

 

 

 

 

Professional Resource Member

 

 

 

Coach Approach for Organizers

 

 

 

 

Institute for Challenging Disorganization

Level I Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization; ADD; Client Administration; Time Management; Mental Health; and Hoarding.

Level II Specialist Certificates earned in Chronic Disorganization and ADHD.